24 things to do with a dead horse

So … the horse is dead. What’s the best thing to do with it? Here’s a handy list (unashamedly copied from Louis Patler’s book Dont Compete…TILT! )

  1. Buy a stronger whip.
  2. Change riders.
  3. Say things like “This is the way we always have ridden this horse.”
  4. Appoint a committee to study the horse.
  5. Arrange to visit other sites to see how they ride dead horses.
  6. Rewrite the standards for dead horse performance.
  7. Appoint a triage team to revive the dead horse.
  8. Create a training session to increase riding ability.
  9. Compare the state of dead horses in today’s environment.
  10. Change the requirements, declaring that “This horse is not dead.”
  11. Hire outside consultants to ride the dead horse.
  12. Harness several dead horses together to increase speed and pulling power.
  13. Declare that “No horse is too dead to beat.”
  14. Provide additional incentive funding (more sticks, more carrots) to increase the horse’s performance.
  15. Do a case study to see if competitors can ride it cheaper.
  16. Purchase a software product to make dead horses run faster.
  17. Declare the horse is `better, faster and cheaper’ dead.
  18. Form a quality circle to find uses for dead horses.
  19. Revisit the performance requirements for horses.
  20. Say this horse was procured with cost as an independent variable.
  21. Promote the dead horse to a supervisory position.
  22. Shorten the track.
  23. Establish Benchmarks for industry dead-horse leaders.
  24. Gather other dead animals and announce a new diversity program.
  25. Put together a spiffy PowerPoint presentation to get planners to double the dead horse R&D budget.
  26. Get the horse a Website!”

 

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